Shining Dimly

The spilling coffee and the stained bed sheet remind me of my soul. It’s there, inside me. I can feel it but at times, in the darkest of nights, it leaves me. I don’t know where it goes. Maybe it travels to the moon or maybe it secretly catch your glimpse. But it’s absence creates a voice inside me that I just can’t deal with. The misty lights and that old, flickering lamplight reminds me of all my broken dreams, of all the things I wanted to do, I wanted to be but I feel stuck under the deep, blue, shining water, and I’m trying to come out for some air. I want to be a small part of the infinite particles that makes the stars shine so bright. I want to be the fire that has stopped burning inside me. Wait! It’s still there but it’s quite small, shining dimly, spreading a little light. It’s just waiting for a little oxygen to become the sun.

But there’s ice surrounding me all the time. Tonight, I can feel the coldness seeping in and there’s no warmth to comfort me. Circling through life, I feel like I’m in a huge party but not a part of it. I feel like an outsider, quietly watching the people laugh. Tonight, I don’t want to be an outsider anymore. I want to be a part of those glittering, neon lights and those catchy, music beats. Tonight, I want to dance until the blood in my veins start running again. Until all the emptiness inside me fades. Until I can’t feel a thing. Until my soul comes back to me.

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